Jesus Brain

This CT scan explains how Jesus always knows what you're thinking.



"You've got eight cavities...but your gums are immaculate!"


Pancake Jesus

"Pour some syrup on me! In the name of God!"



Lumberjack Ron Schneider proudly displays his Jesus stump.

"We chopped down 900 trees to find this. But it was totally worth it."


Risen from the Bread

Does every slice of toast have a hidden Jesus face on it?

Only Jesus knows.



man #1: "Looks like Jesus"

man #2: "Looks like Yao Ming."

Preaches & Cream


The Mold Testament

Jesus also turns water into wall stains.


The Wood Lord (part 2)

The Wood Lord returns for a second coming.


Twisted Religion

Rold Gold, frankincence and myrrh.

Here, Mary makes a cameo appearance with baby Jesus.


Jesus Crisps

Baked Jesus's contain 30% less sodium.


Wonder Bread

Whole wheat Jesus is loaded with fiber.

The Holy Butthole

Jesus smells funny.

Fish Stick Jesus

I like my Jesus Sticks with ketchup.

Lord Cheeto

"Try new Jesus Cheetos! They're the Jeesiest!"

Also available in penis flavor.

Celing Tile Jesus

Jesus loves you. But he thinks you've got a huge ass.

This jesus appeared on the ceiling of a weight loss clinic.
He's quietly passing judgement on obesity problems from above.

Divine Radiation

Patient: "My back hurts."
Doctor: "That's because you've got Jesus nailed to your spine."
Patient: "Will he be covered by my insurance?"

Here, Jesus makes an appearance in an MRI of somebody's spine. Jesus says you need a backiotomy.

The Wood Lord

When asked who he's voting for in November, Jesus replied,
"I'm on the fence."

Grilled Cheesus

"Waiter, I asked for this sandwich with no Jesus!"

According to the owner of this holy sandwich, the image isn't Jesus, it's the Virgin Mary. I think it looks like Kirstie Alley.