Twisted Religion

Rold Gold, frankincence and myrrh.

Here, Mary makes a cameo appearance with baby Jesus.


Jesus Crisps

Baked Jesus's contain 30% less sodium.


Wonder Bread

Whole wheat Jesus is loaded with fiber.

The Holy Butthole

Jesus smells funny.

Fish Stick Jesus

I like my Jesus Sticks with ketchup.

Lord Cheeto

"Try new Jesus Cheetos! They're the Jeesiest!"

Also available in penis flavor.

Celing Tile Jesus

Jesus loves you. But he thinks you've got a huge ass.

This jesus appeared on the ceiling of a weight loss clinic.
He's quietly passing judgement on obesity problems from above.

Divine Radiation

Patient: "My back hurts."
Doctor: "That's because you've got Jesus nailed to your spine."
Patient: "Will he be covered by my insurance?"

Here, Jesus makes an appearance in an MRI of somebody's spine. Jesus says you need a backiotomy.

The Wood Lord

When asked who he's voting for in November, Jesus replied,
"I'm on the fence."

Grilled Cheesus

"Waiter, I asked for this sandwich with no Jesus!"

According to the owner of this holy sandwich, the image isn't Jesus, it's the Virgin Mary. I think it looks like Kirstie Alley.